Guys, I have to share this, because first of all, I’m super proud of myself. Second of all, it’s a major breakthrough!
I was home eating dinner the other night and reading my book. When I read I am very invested in the book. I completely understand the phrase, “Lose yourself in a good book.” That’s what I do. I am completely lost to the world when I read.
Micah would completely agree. Which funny story, Micah never saw me a read a book until we were married! When we were dating, I was working in Minnesota and had a crazy work schedule. I didn’t have time to lose myself in a book, because I am the type of person that likes to read the book and read the whole thing.
Anyways, I say all this to tell you that when I read I am very distracted. So I had finished my dinner, it was fajitas- they were delicious! (Fajitas are what we have when we don’t know what to eat because we always have the ingredients and I found this homemade fajita spice that is perfection!)
I finished my dinner and got up to start making myself seconds because I always have seconds. If it is good, you can usually count on Shaina getting more. I’ve known this for a while, because when I was younger and would go to my friend’s houses, the parents would always comment on my “healthy appetite” or how much I ate.
Which didn’t matter to me, it was good food and I wanted more. Also, I have this weird thing that if I don’t eat it now, at this exact moment, there is no guarantee when I will get more. I know leftovers are a thing and I almost always have leftovers when I cook, but my brain convinces me that I will never have that meal or that food ever again, because who knows what could happen between the next time I get to the fridge.
You can laugh, but it’s a legitimate thought that I have on the daily.
Let me go back to my story with some more information. When I realized I ran out of food I thought, “I’m not that hungry, but it was really good so I need to eat some more.” So I got up and started making my seconds and took the chicken and peppers to the microwave to heat them back up. I put it in the microwave and started typing in the time when I had a thought.
“I’m not really hungry. Why am I getting more food?”
My brain: “Because it’s delicious and you only get it today.”
Shaina: “But Micah already had dinner so he won’t eat it when he gets home. Also, I had some yesterday when we first made it!”
My brain: “Yeah, but he could eat it. All of it!”
Shaina: “Is that a bad thing? I’m not hungry.”
At this point I stopped having my inner monologue with myself, took the food out of the microwave, put it back in it’s container, and in the fridge. Guys, this was huge!
I actually congratulated myself as I was putting the food away because it’s basically unheard of me not getting seconds or eating way too much!
A lot of times I just eat to eat, sometimes I’m not even hungry, but I eat anyways. It’s one thing that I’ve realized is hard for me. I’ve mentioned that I’ve been working on my health and adding the exercise in was the easy part for me.
The eating healthy and not over eating. That’s the hard part!
But the other day was a huge breakthrough and I really wanted to celebrate it because it was a breakthrough! It made me think, I shouldn’t place all this emphasis on food. Yes, it’s amazing and I love it.
Plus I need it to survive, but I should be listening to my body. Most of the time I know I’m full, but I ignore my body and just keep eating.
I’ve read a lot about how we need to analyze our relationship with food, which didn’t really make sense until I was reflecting back on this experience.
Yes we need to eat, but are we using healthy habits and giving our bodies the things we need? Or are we stuffing it full of pizza, holiday snacks, and treats until we are sick?
This is definitely something I have to keep working on. I can’t undo a life’s worth of going for seconds (when I’m not hungry) in one day, but it helped show me that I can! I can work on it and get better.
Also, I’m not saying getting seconds is bad. Sometimes it’s totally fine! Plus everyone has different portion sizes, but for me I know that I’m not listening to my body and I’m eating when I shouldn’t be.
So during this time of holiday parties, let’s all make sure that we aren’t just eating all the things, especially when we already had lunch, but are trying to make healthy decisions. One step at a time, which for me is, not going back for seconds!