I’ve always struggled with negative thoughts and self-doubt, but I’ve gotten so much better!
One of the side effects of going on a health journey is starting to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. And in my case, I felt like it was very easy for me to see the difference between my strengths and weaknesses.
Strength: committing and crossing off tasks
Weakness: my mental attitude about those tasks
Luckily, one of my workout programs was one of Shaun T’s! He is a great motivator and reminded me that I can do hard workouts, but if I’m putting myself down the entire time, I’m not applying the lessons working out taught me.
So if you are also struggling with negative self-talk, let’s talk about the four things that helped me eliminate and significantly lower the amount of negative self-talk in my life.
First: Surround yourself with positive influences
I say influences because yes, you want to surround yourself with positive people, but it’s also important to look at the media that you are consuming as well!
I don’t know Shaun T and I haven’t ever met him in real life, but I loved working out with someone who was encouraging me to develop in the workout and real life!
I also believe that the things you watch, read, and listen to all impact you.
So take a look at the social media accounts you follow…are they encouraging you? Do they help you with your goals? If you find yourself negatively impacted by the account (even if it’s comparison)…unfollow them!
You also want to make sure that the people you surround yourself with are building you up rather than putting you down.
I have a great support system in my husband Micah as well as family and friends that encourage me in my goals.
Be sure that the people who are around you are cheering you on!
Second: Set goals!
The way to build confidence in something is to have experience in it! I found it helpful when the negative thoughts came up, to point out the things I had already accomplished.
So for example, when I felt my progress wasn’t coming as fast as I thought it should, I looked to the other goals I had already accomplished: starting and sticking with a workout routine, feeling good in my skin, and proving to myself that I could do hard things.
This is why it’s so important to have some way of reflection! It could be a brag list where you write down all of your accomplishments (big and small) or even journaling!
The goals you set don’t have to be big, and honestly, in the beginning, setting smaller goals sets you up for success!
Once you accomplish the small goals, it gives you that momentum to keep going and keep building.
Third: Do scary things!
This may come after you’ve already accomplished some smaller goals! But what is the thing that you’ve been afraid of doing because you thought you would fail?
Is it starting to get healthy?
Is it starting to learn a language?
Maybe asking for a raise or starting to look for a new job?
Whatever it is, you can do it!
Just because it is scary, doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means you will have to keep taking it day by day and taking those small steps.
You don’t have to accomplish the huge thing in one day…and honestly, it’s not realistic!
Break the scary thing into small, bite-sized portions and just take that first step.
(If you need help breaking it down - let’s chat! I love helping people take those big goals to something where you feel empowered to tackle them!)
If you’re anything like me, you have had a ton of practice in talking negatively to yourself. Because of that, I need you to give yourself grace as you start making these changes.
You aren’t going to get rid of your negative thoughts in one day! You have to practice patience and give yourself time to re-wire your brain.
practice talking positively in your workouts, career, and relationships!
focus on how strong you are becoming, even if you have to take a break.
focus on what you learned, rather than the fact that you messed up at work.
realize that you are human and that it’s okay to get frustrated.
What’s more important is how you treat yourself. Focus on those small wins (write them down too) and keep pushing forward.
You got this!